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Monday, March 15, 2010

I can sum up my month of March so far in one word.... YUCK!

Last week was spring break for me, and I had envisioned going places and doing things with AJ while working my fanny off for some extra spending money since I would be free the whole week to work. Nope... didn't happen. I've been sick sick sick. Practically on my death bed! Ok, maybe not THAT bad, but it really hasn't been fun. And, I'm still sick. We're coming up on two weeks of being sick if I don't miraculously recover in the next two days. Since I'm pregnant there isn't much medicine to take to help me, and the medicine that is available hasn't really done much. I've had some good days where I feel much better, but then the next day I'm drained and feel even worse. At least I have a doctor's appointment on Saturday, so if it is still here by then, I'll talk to the doc.

I also had put my mind into working on AJ and the potty. That plan did not pan out. I was not feeling up to that much cleaning! So, instead the last few nights I have been working on getting AJ to sleep in his own bed. So for the last three nights, I have put him in his bed, and put him back in his bed, and back in his bed again and again and again. And for the last three nights, he has fallen asleep in his own bed. Now, he hasn't exactly stayed there the whole night, but baby steps! My goal is a whole week, and then we'll celebrate. It has gone pretty smooth. There are no tears when we walk back into the bedroom. Last night he was the most challenging because he'd run out and then run back to bed, giggling as if it were a game. It has really helped that there haven't been any tears because I'm dealing with a bit of guilt. While I do enjoy having my husband sleep in the bed, I kind of miss sleeping with my two year old bed hog. It's really amazing how such a little guy can take up so much of a queen size bed! Anyway, I have become accustomed to waking up several times in the night to make sure that his roley poley butt is covered with a blanket. Now, I'm waking up several times a night to tell husband to stop snoring. Oh well, in just a few short months I'll have a tiny little baby who will probably end up sharing my bed, and there really isn't room to have AJ sleeping in the bed as well.

Which is a whole new issue that I've started to deal with. I'm going to have a new baby, and I feel guilty because AJ won't have Mommy to himself anymore. I remember singing and talking to my belly all the time when I was pregnant with AJ. I think that I really bonded with the idea of AJ while I was pregnant, and that made it easier to bond after he was born and I wasn't so sick anymore. This time... I don't feel pregnant very often, and I don't talk or sing to my belly. I want this baby, but I don't know if I have bonded to the idea of this baby like I did with AJ. I'm sure that bonding after the baby is born will be just fine, maybe my issue is because I don't know very much about this baby. I don't know whether it is going to be a boy or girl, and I don't know if my due date is very accurate so I don't really even know when it will be here. I hope AJ bonds well with the baby too because he really doesn't have a clue that it's coming....

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