Thursday, July 30, 2009

I'm fighting a battle with AJ... and for the most part, he wins.

His iron levels came back at a 7.7, normal is 11. It is quite low and he's just not eating for me anymore. The doctor says that is normal, but not eating and having low iron is just too much for me to take comfort in "normal".

But, for tonight, I won the battle. I had always told myself that I would not make my children special dinners just because they didn't like what I was making. But, I have to make an exception. This has everything to do with AJ's health and development, and I can't worry about him being a picky eater right now.

I decided to try and make fish tonight to see how he would do. Now, I was told that fish was a good source of iron, but after dinner tonight and doing research on it... I have found that it isn't necessarily that good of a source of iron. Oh, well it doesn't really matter at this point. At least he ate.

So, what did I make tonight? I made home made fish sticks. They were very good actually, and I would have loved to make the dipping sauce that was on there, but the jar of horseradish was actually empty... so I just made tartar sauce to go with it.


Now it calls for panko... I didn't have any of that. I just used regular bread crumbs, they were italian seasoned bread crumbs but they still came out awesome.

Monday, July 20, 2009


I wanted to update my previous post, but I always hate it when someone updates an already written post because I probably won't see the update unless I accidentally scroll to far down and see that they wrote something new. So, I'll make an entirely new post just for my update.

The recipe that was posted below was very good. I didn't follow it exactly, there were a few very minor changes that I made. First, I didn't grease the pan. I used a glass pan, and honestly forgot about greasing it before I put the chicken in. I didn't have a problem with it sticking anyway. Second, I layered the chicken with slices of mozzeralla instead of shedded mozzeralla, and then put the spaghetti sauce over it. I think the slices of cheese helped to coat it better than mozzeralla would have. It was also really good over the pasta. I also bought a loaf of onion bread and dipped it in the speghetti sauce. Yummy!

I started a night time routine with AJ tonight, and I have to say that it worked ok. He has to get use to it, and I'm sure he will. 2 hours after the start of our routine he was finally asleep, and it took some one on one time with Mommy at the very end for about 15 min before he was finally asleep. That's something that I usually don't have to do, but that is because I usually put on a movie for him and he falls asleep during it. I have started to notice though, that no matter how tired he is he'll watch the whole movie instead of falling asleep. So, I gave him the chance to fall asleep to the movie and when he didn't the tv was turned off. Honestly, I can't wait until our AC is fixed so that we can put him in his crib again. I didn't have a problem at all with him falling asleep in his crib. He has no tv in his room, and that is something that I'm going to stick with. As of now though, he sleeps in the playpen in our room where the window AC is and he doesn't fall asleep so well in there.

I also started to work out again. I took a little hiatus there, but my excuse is that it is way to hot in my house to work out and I'm sticking to that! I've kinda just sucked it up though, and worked out in the heat. It's only for a little while and I can manage.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Not much going on today. We all slept in late because AJ was up late last night. My goal is to get AJ to bed at a good hour and get him back on schedule before the end of the month. I have about two weeks. I'm hoping that I can do it in that time.

Heather came over last night and helped me clean my house, and now it is much easier to manage. I'm so happy. I was able to clean up the house today in less than 30 min, but it was probably only that fast because I took advantage of AJ's nap.

Right now I'm defrosting some chicken for Chicken Parmigiana and pasta. I found a pretty easy recipe here. I'm sure it will turn out well.

Other than that, not too much going on. I have a load of laundry to do after I finish washing AJ's cloth diapers. I started to use our cloth diapers again so we don't go through disposables so quickly, and to save some money. I'm really happy that I bought a whole bunch of them when I had the money. I have to say out of all the cloth diapers that I have, I love the Bumgenious ones the best. I'm hoping that with our next child that we keep up with the cloth diapers more.

Aaron and I have been getting along a lot better now. I think it's really because I'm pretty much done with my period, so I'm not so cranky and hormonal. Also, my house isn't too hot so I'm not so cranky about that. I've opened up the windows and it's been a rainy day so it's been kinda cool out.

Not much else to talk about, so I hope that your day has been wonderful!

Saturday, July 18, 2009


I wanted to blog about this yesterday but IE kept freezing up on me. My computer has been awefully slow lately.

So, anyway... A few nights ago Aaron called me around 11:30 pm to ask me to go get him some cigarettes. So, I went out to get him some and I also got AJ a milkshake and since he was enjoying it so much I didn't want to get him out of the car to go into Daddy's work. Aaron came out to get them and talked to me for a minute and as he went to go inside I started to close my windows and back out of the parking space. I stopped because this man was walking like he was going to walk behind my car, and I of course did not want to run him over. Well, he ended up changing directions to go in front of my car and I started to back out again. I stopped again because he started to walk in between my car and the car next to me and I didn't want to smoosh him. He stops next to my door and I get ready to back out again and I see his hand going for the handle of my car. I tried to lock the doors but I was scared and started to fumble with the buttons. He opens my door and starts to get in and I scream "GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY CAR!!" He stopped and looked at me and just said "uuhh shit" and walked away.
Now, I'm sure that it was just a mistake on his part, but it freaked me out. All of these different scenarios zoomed through my head while it was going on. It really seemed like it lasted many minutes but I know the whole thing only happen in a few moments. My heart was racing and I was shaking, and my stomach had turned. I definitely locked my door after that.

Then, the next morning I had to get up and go babysit for Laura. I got out of bed and saw that my brother had called me like 3 times early early in the morning and I guess I didn't hear my phone go off. So, I start to call him but he doesn't answer. I decided to go get a drink before I took a shower, and as I walked into the living room I stopped dead in my tracks. There was a person sitting in Aaron's chair in my living room. It took me a second to realize that it was my brother, and another second to realize that I was standing in front of him stark naked. I started to back out of the room, trying to cover myself with my hands, yelling at him for being in my house with out me knowing.
Now, honestly, I didn't really care that he was in my home. He obviously needed a place to go since he was out drinking and didn't want to drive home, which was a good choice. He ended up walking to my house. So, while I'm proud that he made a very good decision... I was still very embarrassed at having my brother see me in my birthday suit.

So, those were my two heart stopping scares of the week.

What else have I been up to?

Heather came over tonight and helped me clean my house. It was a lot of help and I really appreciated it. Next weekend, I'm going to go over to her house and help her deep clean her house. Maybe one day we'll be able to deep clean my house instead of just cleaning it lol.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Time for another post since I haven't been doing much of that lately.

So so much is going on right now. I have been so cranky and miserable and it's hit a peak this week.... hopefully it won't plateau!

Number one on the list is money. I hate the summers because of our lack of money because I don't work. I'm going to go out this week and fill out some more applications, but it sort of seems pointless because school will be starting next month. Either way, money is causing a huge problem in my life right now.
Yes, we are making the bills but we don't have much left over after that. And yes, it is causing a problem with my relationship with my husband. Don't go and get worried (or be happy if you don't like me ;-) I think this will eventually blow over and Aaron and I will be happy with each other again as soon as I start to work again.

The problem with not working besides not having money, is that I have nothing to do all day. Cleaning is not something I look forward to... so it doesn't count. I love doing the work that I do. I would love it even more if I were an actual licensed teacher, but for now it will do.. and I love it. I miss working. I miss teaching. I miss my life. Right now it really truely feels like I have no life. My conversations have turn to complaining instead of recounting the interesting things that happened during the day ( and boy does it get pretty interesting teaching a new group of kids each day). I actually really don't like complaining. When I do complain it does help me to feel better because I actually was able to get it out, but I prefer to be laughing during my conversations. Aaron use to be able to do that for me... but right now we are sort of disconnected. I'm angry, and stressed, and sad.. and when he makes it a joke.. I get annoyed, which in turn annoys him because he just wanted me to laugh. This happened last summer, and I know that it will eventually go back to normal, but it seems like so far away.

From my past posts, something that was weighing me down was the death of my stepfather. Recently those thoughts have turned into thoughts about my own father. There is much about his death that I don't know. What I do know is that he commited suicide, and that he carried it out by shooting himself. I'm very curious about where he shot himself, what he shot himself with, and why he shot himself. That last question is one that I don't think I'll ever get to know, but I've thought about it alot. And these thoughts don't help my state of mind at the present moment either, because it puts my into a grumpy sad mood. And my Papa being so sick pushes me futher into that mood.

My family is also very grumpy to each other over this whole situation. While it may not be the best decision and I may even regret it later, I have reach a conclusion that I can't go see my Papa when the majority of my family is there. I want the time that is left with my Papa to be special to me.. and my family ruins it... this also doesn't help my mood.

And.. last night I felt the snowball effect of my current situation. This new feelings are mine though.. and will not be written here.

On a good note though, I have felt very creative lately. Some projects that have always just seemed a little to out of grasp for my imagination have come into focus, and plans have been made. My creativity has always lifted my spirits.. maybe because it make me feel accomplished, gives me something to do, and makes me feel unique... or maybe it's just because I like it... ;-)

I believe I mentioned it in another post but I was working on a blanket... it's a present that I won't tell anyone who it is for yet... I've had to put it on hold. I'm actually quite sad about that. I went to the store yesterday and they didn't have anymore of the yarn that I needed and they didn't know when they would get it back in. I've checked other stores and none around here have the same color. Worse comes to worse I can always buy it online, but it is more expensive and then I have to pay for shipping. I am determined to finish it though.. and I got a wonderful card to go with it!
So, I've started to work on another present. This one I will say what it is. It is a pretty pink shawl that I am going to give away for Christmas. I have the perfect person in mind for it, and I know she'll love it because she loves pink and she's perfect for this type of shawl. Maybe I'll scan the picture and put it up here next time I'm around a scanner.

Well, I might as well end this on that happy note because now I'm feeling much more up lifted and now I want to work on that shawl.