Need some sunshine

School has started for me, and I am busy busy busy. I am also very stressed out.

Aaron and I had some issues to deal with, and we are dealing with them, but it was intense for a few days.

I have a boat load of school work to do already.

...AND my house is falling apart. There isn't a single part of the house that doesn't need fixing. We need to get out of this house, and now!

We have a few options open to us at the moment. Tomorrow I'll be going to the office to see if we can move to a rent to own and get rid of our house without the whole mess of selling it. Let me make this clear though, I call it my house, my home... it isn't a H-O-U-S-E but a mobile home. That's why fixing every problem isn't worth it. It's probably ready to be torn down to put a brand new one there anyway.

Anyway, if that doesn't work, I'm still going to see if they will take it off our hands. We'll move in with my mother for a month to save and then find another place to buy. I think we would like to find a rent to own house (yes, a real one ;-).

So, that's what has been going on with me. I've been living under a rain cloud for alittle while now, and I'm ready for some sun... I hope life decides that I deserve it for once.

Breast Cancer Walk

Before I got pregnant with AJ, I had done a Race for the Cure walk. I had told myself that I would participate every year, but the next year I was very pregnant and did not want to try the 5k walk. The next year I had completely forgotten about doing it until it was too late. I literally looked it up the day after it had already taken place. So this year I am going to do it.

This year I'm going to participate in Making Strides Against Breast Cancer. If you feel generous enough to make a donation please go here:

One week until school and work starts again. I cannot wait! I'm ready to get out of this house doing stuff that keeps me busy. Oh yes does AJ keep me busy, but I'm not a housewife type of girl. It's nice the first few weeks of summer but by the end I am dying of boredom.

It's going to be so chaotic those first few weeks though. I'm going to school full time 2 days a week, and hopefully working the other 3 days, although I doubt there is going to be much of a demand for substitutes right away. Lots of early mornings thrown at this girl who is very use to sleeping in, which also means lots of late nights with a little boy who refuses to be tamed and trained into going to sleep at a decent hour.

So far so good on the list stuff. It's kept me up on my chores, help me feel like I was able to manage better, and completely took away the feeling of chaos that my house can create when hurricane AJ has blown through. As of now, and yes it's only been the second day, the list is going to stay.

Another good thing about my list is that it makes me feel ok to work on my "projects" which really only consist of sewing and crocheting. I'm actually going to make a post about my projects to show what I'm doing, what I've accomplished, and mainly because I'm proud of the work that I've done on them, even if the only one almost completed is a shawl. So, that will come soon when I am more up to blogging about it, and I'm not so stressed.

Last night, I'm not even going to go into it, but it caused some major stress. Stuff that Aaron will have to work through, as well as things that Aaron and I have to work on together. But, that is all that I'm going to say about it because I'm not sharing it with anyone but the other people that were involved, and my mother. For the time being anyway...

So, onto other things. AJ still isn't eating well, but he is taking his iron everyday. It is a fight between me and him. I am quite sure the iron does not taste good because it smells and looks horrible. I feel bad forcing him to take it every morning, but he's got to do it.

AJ had a pretty cranky night tonight. We spent the day with my mom and he was climbing all over everything. He's learned that climbing onto the back of the couch can help him climb onto the desk, and I found him numerous times sitting on top of the desk playing with the speakers and computer monitor. I also found him on top of the table playing with the numerous things that are kept there. Every time I turned around he was climbing onto something. He lost his temper with me quite a few times after I removed him from his various climbing areas. He has my temper. I can get quite cranky and he's inherited it from me. I sure hopes that he grows out of it before he's a teenager... although that is probably just wishful thinking.

I was going to end my post there, but decided that I would say thank you to Andrea for commenting so much on my blog. I started reading her blog, which you can find here while reading another blog that mentioned one of her recipes. I can't remember which one it was, but it sure looked yummy, and her blog has grown on me. She has a cute little family, is going through a very difficult deployment, and is just a very interesting person. Oh, and she takes some awesome pictures!

Organizational Skills

I lack them!! I can be organized in my work place but when it comes to my home and personal life, I am far from organized.

Today, I started to organize my life and home. Cleaning is not my thing, I've said it here many times before. I'm trying a new way of doing it, along with helping me to get organized. My nightly routine will now include setting out tomorrows clothes and then jotting down a list of things that I would like to complete. That includes my chores and a small thing or two that I want to organize.

I'm the type of person that does get over-whelmed with large projects if I don't have someone to help motivate me. Of course I can't have someone helping me and walking me through the big projects that a home brings a long, so I have to learn to deal with it and find a way that will work just for me.

Now, I've tried this program called Fly-lady... honestly, I don't get it and it doesn't go fast enough for me. But something that always has worked for me is lists. I like to make lists, and I like to check off things off lists... I don't know what that says about my personality, but it works for me.

Anyway, my day has included doing my chores, washing my car along with Heather's car, and her mom's car, and I've slowly started to tackle my closet. We don't have much storage space, so our closet has become just that.

This is how I'm going to tackle my organizational projects. Everyday, I'm going to do a boxes worth or grocery bags worth of organizing and if I'm feeling up to it, I'll do more, if not then I've completed my goal for the day. So, it will be slow going, but I'm confident that I'll be organized just in time for Christmas... which of course will probably de-organize me, if that even is a word, lol.

Lots of talk so far about Christmas. It's my big milestone for my goals, so it will probably continue. I've also pretty much have an idea on the type of Christmas cards I will be making. They are called "waterfall" cards. Example HERE.

I love how it looks simplistic, almost childlike. There is a good probability that my card will look similar.

So, off I am to complete the last bit of chores on my list, and make my new list for tomorrow.

Ta ta for now.

The viewing and Christmas

My Papa's viewing was today. Honestly, I didn't want to go. The night he died, I was the first to get there, so I got a good little while to spend some time with him and say my goodbyes. I didn't feel the need to go and say goodbye again. Today wasn't the memorial service, that will be next week, but I went because I felt that my family wouldn't have appreciated it if I stayed home. I left AJ at home because he didn't need to be there either. I will be taking him to the memorial service though.

I had my camera in my car and my mother told me to get it after my Uncle announced that we were allowed to take pictures. I felt so wierd taking pictures. I thought that my mother had wanted them, but come to find out she doesn't want to see them at all. I guess it was good though because it did turn out that my Nana wanted the pictures.


I started some Christmas preparations today. Now that I'm allowed to communicate with Aaron's family I needed to update my Christmas card list, and birthday list. I made out a whole list of people who are getting Christmas cards this year, and I found their addresses. I'm even thinking of making my Christmas cards. Making cards is something that I love to do, but when it comes to Christmas time, I find myself very busy and I just buy a box of cards for $1. I would love to personalize it this year. I'm gonna have to do some searching through google for some ideas though. I also need to make a list of names who are going to actually get presents from me and write down ideas for their gifts.

I know I probably sound crazy, but we waited last year to do Christmas and found ourselves with no money because Aaron had lost his job. We did not get to celebrate with presents and the Christmas cards that I sent out never got to their destinations, which was kind of disappointing because they had so many professional pictures in them. This year, I want to be prepared. I want to make sure that presents are bought while we have money, and by the time Christmas comes around, maybe it won't be such a mad dash to find presents and we won't struggle from lack of money.

This year, I am determined to have a Christmas Tree as well... but no real ones. I don't like the smell and mess that a tree makes, and some trees give me rashes after touching them. Plus, fake trees are more cost effective. See... in Florida real Christmas trees have to be shipped which makes the cost sky rocket. A small not so good tree could be bought for $25 bucks if you are lucky, but a medium sized nice full tree can be around $75 bucks... and I have seen trees for over $100. A fake tree, that you don't have to worry about fullness or being lopsided can be bought for $25 - $50 and will last you quite a few Christmases.

Once I get back to work I'm going to start AJ's Christmas shopping. I'm just going to buy him cars and accessories. He'll play hours with cars. I could buy him every single big huge expensive advanced what ever normal kid wants toys and he'll go straight for a tiny one dollar matchbox car. So, I'm going to buy him a ton of those, a case, and a new road rug. No need to clutter up my house with bulky toys, my boy likes cars. He also likes legos, and because his birthday is only a few weeks after Christmas, I'm going to buy his birthday presents at the same time. Of course he won't get them on Christmas. I'm going to buy him legos, and a table to play with it on, I'm also going to buy some stuff for his room because we'll be upgrading his room to a big boy room then too. Don't worry though, I'm not talking about big boy legos, while he does like those he needs me to take them apart, so he's getting the big legos, and his big boy bed will only be his crib converted to a toddler bed. I'm also going to take the door off of his room and put a gate there so that he can't wander at night.

AND... the biggest change of all.....

AJ is getting a potty chair for his birthday.

Of course this is still a little less than 6 months away, but changes are coming for my boy... I hope he's not like me and doesn't try to resist it!!!

Ok, as promised for quite a long time... here are some pictures. I finally got the pictures off of my camera.



Heather holding AJ after he ate ice cream by himself for the first time... she was very brave for letting him try that at her house!



AJ and Mommy at Planet Jump.



My beautiful boy waiting in the car for Daddy.



One of my favorite pictures from our trip to the beach last weekend.



This is my other favorite picture. Heather's son Thomas is the other boy in this picture.

Heather and I went to the beach with our boys on Saturday. We had loads and fun, and as I always promise but never deliver... I will post pictures, I really do have to find my camera cord.

While the beach was fun, and I got a lot of exercise from digging holes in the sand, and I did get a wee bit of sunburn... my day over all on Saturday was a stinker!

I went to my mother's house to finish doing her laundry and decided that while I was waiting for it to dry, I would take AJ with me to go visit my Papa since the hospice is so close to my mother's house.

Here is a picture of my Papa with AJ in January after we found out his cancer came back. If any one feels charitable and can make this picture look better so I can frame it, I would be forever grateful!!! I have tweaked it, so if you want the original I can supply it!



He looked bad. He's lost a lot of weight. He literally was all skin and bones. His eyes hadn't been shut in awhile, so they were putting goop on it to keep it healthy. He also was not entirely responsive.

I turned on Disney channel for AJ, which happened to be playing his favorite movie which was a life saver. I talked to Papa about my car, since he use to always ask me about it, I talked about going to the beach, and AJ swimming, and just about stupid everyday stuff. I had seen an empty vase and told him that it was a shame that it was empty and I would make sure that I brought him some flowers for his vase the next morning. He also was facing a balloon that AJ gave him a few weeks ago. Even though we thought he probably couldn't seen anymore, it always looked like he was staring at that balloon. So, I talked to him about the balloon. Eventually, AJ started to get antsy and try to leave the room. I told Papa that I would be back in the morning and that I love him, and then I turned the TV to a movie and I left.

I went back to my mom's house to finish the laundry. By the time I left it was almost 11:00 pm and while I was passing the street that the hospice was on, I felt like I should turn and go check on my Papa, make sure the tv hadn't been turned off, stuff like that. I told myself no, that I was tired and should get home. I stopped to see Aaron at work and was talking to him when my mother called me.

At 11:01 pm August 1st, 2009, my Papa passed away. I had been hoping that his pain would end for some time now, but I guess I wasn't totally ready to let him go. I actually take comfort that I was the last family member to see him alive. I kick myself for not turning to go check on him, because then he would have had someone in the room with him while he passed, but it could be possible that he wanted to be alone for that. I hadn't seen him in a couple of weeks before Saturday. I had felt really guilty about that. He just looked so bad, and I didn't like to be there when someone else was because I hated having someone listen to me talk to him. I'm so happy that I was able to see him one last time... and maybe this is just wishful thinking... hopeful thinking that I maybe I was important to him enough that he waited to see me one last time.