The World Keeps Turning Upside Down

Every time I think that I've gotten my feet set, and I'm starting to head in the right direction to getting my life to where I want it to be... the world decides to turn upside down on me.

It really started with leaving Kevin. I was *mostly* financially stable with Kevin. It doesn't really mean that I knew I was going to always have money, but I knew when we were going to have rough patches, and when we were going to be fine. I knew when we spent the bulk of our money, and when we were going to scrounge for pennies. Then I left Kevin. I left the majority of my stuff, because it wasn't worth fighting with him to get it back. I also left my money in our bank account. I started fresh. I was working, and I was getting a little bit of money, I was staying at a friends house where I didn't have to pay any bills until I got back on my feet.

I met Aaron, and I moved in with my mom, and I was slowly getting back up on my feet. Before I could even get a foothold with one foot, I found out I was pregnant. That put a big dent in our already not so good financial situation, seeing as Aaron had just bought his home, and I didn't really have a job. Being a substitute I don't have work, and I was helping a friend with her kid but getting next to nothing moneywise.

We started to do a little better with money and bills around the end of my pregnancy, but oops, lets just turn the world over again and put her big pregnant ass on bedrest, with no hopes of any money at all.

So, after I had AJ, and struggling through the summer, and beginning of school. I recieved my financial aid. Aaron had regular hours at work, our bills were caught up. TURN THE FUCKING WORLD ALL THE WAY AROUND!!!!!

Today, Aaron is fired. Our sole income is gone, without notice. And Heather knew and didn't even call me to tell me. I was shopping and having a good time, and Aaron calls to tell me. I left the cart where it was because now I can't afford to buy what I was buying. Actually, I was buying some Christmas gifts for family and clothes for AJ. Now, I can't afford it. We are going to go back to going weeks without being able to food shop, to the point where I was going to my mom's house to take food from her freezer. For God's sake, Laura if you are reading this I'm sorry, but I even stole diapers from her so I could go one more day without having to buy diapers, because money might just magically appear the next day.

WHY CAN'T I BE HAPPY?!?!? WHY CAN'T THINGS WORK OUT IN MY FAVOR?!?!