I said goodbye to 23 and hello to 24. Before you ask... it doesn't feel any different. ;-)

This weekend started out horrible... I mean, I don't know how I was strong enough not to break down into tears and try to crawl away horrible. Maybe because I was lucky enough to reconnect with a friend that I needed a little more than a week ago.
Friday was the funeral. Forever I will always have the sharp, clear image of a mother grieving her oldest son.. and I pray to God with all my heart that that image will never be my future. My grandmother (step-family) has been very strong and not shed a tear in front of us since we saw her for the first time in over 10 years over a week ago, and she tried to be strong at the funeral, but ended up breaking down.

I have to be honest.... part of me didn't want to go to the funeral.. and part of me at the funeral felt a very strong urge to open that casket and look inside. But anyway, back to my grandmother. When it was time to put a rose on the casket my grandmother was the first one. She went up to it and kissed it and then sprawl her upperbody on top of it and started whispering to it. I heard her sobbing and my grandfather started to sob and then I started to cry. This immense pain came over me for them. Losing your child has to be the hardest thing I've ever seen, and the worse part for me is that I felt like I could feel their pain.
AJ was very good at the funeral.. only started to whine at the very end.
Then my day got worse... it was hot and AJ was running all over the place. We decided that it was time to leave and as I was saying goodbye I noticed that my brothers had forgotten to watch AJ for me. I turned around and my heart stopped... I couldn't see AJ.. and then when I did he was a step away from the street. That was sooo scary.
Then on the way home, it started to pour. Bryan's car broke down... we were able to make it to a rest stop... it was pouring and I got soaked running back and forth between the cars, restroom, and covered bench. AJ woke up very cranky from being in a car for a lot of the day.
Laura came to pick me up, but in the end it was too late to make it to my job interview, and even though I called them and sent Heather over there.. they won't be calling me back.
I went to a "birthday dinner" as we made our way home.. and I guess I misunderstood because I ended up having to pay for myself and AJ... and in the end she had forgotten her debit card so I had to pay for everyone with my bill money.
Everything just didn't go the way that I wanted them too... horrible horrible day....

Saturday I didn't do much, but Heather took me out for a birthday lunch that I didn't have to pay for, and it was a lot of fun.

Yesterday... I spent most of the day with Heather and Thomas. We went to the pool and AJ and I got a little burnt. Heather and I played scrabble... she won by 3 points. We went grocery shopping, and then sat and talked for awhile. I had a very good day that day... more fun than I've had in awhile.

So.. that brings me to today. Not much planned. I have to clean and that's about it.